Replace New Year's Resolutions with Goals

Another new year is here and the usual questions are flying around: “What are your New Year’s resolutions? What do you want to achieve? Which new habits do you want to build? What is your focus for the year?” It is easy to feel overwhelmed by these questions. It is even easier to freeze and stare at the person who just asked you. You start to wonder if it really has to be this way. The answer is no.

With only 8 percent of New Year’s resolutions actually achieved (see the study here), it is time to change your approach to a new year. Instead of setting huge goals that feel stressful to hit, commit to making different choices that improve your lifestyle and your mood. Instead of saying you will start going to the gym five days a week when you currently do not go even one day a year, start small by saying you will try different activities and sports until you find one you enjoy doing regularly. Really, it is about simplifying your approach to life overall.

When you simplify, you remove what is not important, which gives you more time and energy for the things that matter. You start saying no to the things that make you feel bad and yes to the things that make you happy. You start living life on your own terms, which leads to a fuller life.

To help you begin this path, answer these 3 questions. They will help you set a positive intention for your year in an encouraging and motivating way.

1. What are the three things you enjoy doing and want to do more of?

Going hiking? Taking a hot bath? Reading a good book in a café? Traveling? Visiting family?

This is a ridiculously simple yet powerfully effective question to answer. When you answer it out loud or, better still, write your answers down, you acknowledge the things you enjoy while committing to do more of them. If you want to go one step further, you can even schedule some of them on your calendar. Putting a date on a goal forces you to follow through and meet the target.

2. What are the three things you want to grow in?

There is no rule about what growth means here. It could be improving a skill, getting better at a sport, learning to cook more dishes, or exploring a hobby you have always wanted to try. As a human being, you are happier when you are growing, so actively putting yourself in positions that allow growth will make you even happier and life a little more adventurous.

3. What are the three things you want to do less of?

Running? Stressing out? Being self-critical? Smoking? Overeating? Being pessimistic?

Whatever you want to do less of, believe that you can do less of it. Everything is possible. You might even stop doing it completely if that is what you want. This could be a habit you want to drop, a thought pattern that no longer serves you, an activity you used to enjoy but no longer do, or a task you would rather delegate to someone else. Life is too short to waste time on things that weigh you down, so be brave enough to admit when that is the case and remove that weight from your life. Do not be afraid to ask for help if you need it, or to look for different and more exciting ways to handle it if it is something you truly cannot delegate.

These questions should help you focus your year from a more positive and enriching point of view than fixed New Year’s resolutions or rigid goals. These intentions remind you of what matters most to you, and you can use them throughout the year to make sure you stay on the path toward a happier, fuller life.