Effects of Stress on a Couple (and Solutions)

Every couple has its problems. In a relationship, each person still lives their own life at work, with their own families, and with their friends. Everyday life fills up with stress easily. That stress can be even more devastating in a couple when at least one of the two people is an entrepreneur.

Entrepreneurship is a stressful journey. The start is hard because it demands a lot of attention, involves many changes in your life, and pushes you outside your comfort zone. You find yourself in a turbulent zone. As you move forward with your project, unpredictable problems, bad surprises, and every kind of challenge show up and can stress you out. Stabilizing a business is difficult. That is why it is important to understand where your stress comes from, how to manage it, and how to prevent certain harmful effects on your relationship.

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CONSEQUENCES OF STRESS

Stress shows up in many ways. It can impact your communication, your habits, your mental presence, your health, and every other aspect you can imagine.

1- You lose your patience and verbal filter

Bad days happen. We all face failures and tough challenges. When problems start to overwhelm us, though, we need an outlet to “let off steam.” Unfortunately, for many people that means taking it out on their partner by fighting over small things and becoming overly critical.

2- Nothing feels satisfying anymore

One of the unfortunate side effects of stress and the inevitable crash that follows is the loss of satisfaction that the good things in your life, including your marriage, would normally bring you. Stress makes a person fixate and project, which leads them to sabotage their own relationship without realizing it through criticism and put-downs. Satisfaction is one of the key components of a successful married life. It is part of having a balance between certainty and uncertainty in your life. See the details here.

3- You have become emotionally unavailable

Your partner is having a bad day and needs to talk about it with you. Innocent questions like “Are you okay, love?” shut you down or make you angry. If you notice that almost everything is irritating you, it may be time to get help from a life coach.

4- You forget how to stay in sync

Stress and its related hormones block our ability to read our partner. Suddenly your intuition goes haywire. Your reactions and feelings get projected onto your partner. You forget how to express and receive love, leaving you disconnected. It is common for couples who are out of sync with each other to end up in a couples psychologist’s office, or worse: in divorce court.

5- Your libido has collapsed

You are exhausted, burned out, and not sleeping well. You do not feel like talking to anyone, much less being intimate with your partner. Stress causes spikes in adrenaline and cortisol, which suppress the hormones needed to lift mood. It may be time to step back and reevaluate your schedule.

6- Food vs Health vs Family

Stress hits the people closest to you the hardest. In a recent study, childhood obesity was linked to parental stress. Why? Because parents with higher stress levels tend to make poor shopping decisions and stop focusing on nutrition. That leads them to buy more junk food for the home, and dinners tend to be less nutritious. Stressed parents also spend less time with their kids. All of these factors contribute to childhood obesity. Your stressed decisions have direct, negative effects on the people in your life. When you feel stressed, it is crucial to give yourself time to think or use a therapeutic tool such as breathing exercises.

WHAT CAN I DO?

A PhD in psychology and sociology, Rosie Shrout, explains in a doctoral thesis how important it is to change your perception of stress in your life. She even notes that “Experiencing stress does not necessarily mean your relationship will suffer. Rather, your perception of the stress, such as seeing it as a challenge you can overcome, is important. By viewing stress as an opportunity to share and open up to each other, relationships grow stronger because couples learn to manage stress and build resources to handle future stress better. Couples learn what they need from each other and show each other that they are cared for, valued, and understood. Having a partner who is there for you and responsive to your needs helps your body deal with stress better and makes the stress feel less intense.”

The key to stress is how couples handle it

It is important for couples to identify and talk about the causes of their stress and what they need when they feel stressed. Although it can be hard to talk about what is creating stress, especially if it comes from something inside the relationship, it helps when they discuss their needs and offer support. Couples who manage stress most successfully face it together. They create a sense that they are in it together and are a team.

Ideas to improve your situation

Set up a conversation with your partner and listen first before offering solutions.

Ask your partner what you can do to help and make their day easier.

Hug more often. It may sound odd, but hugging for at least 30 seconds after work every day can help your bodies align and calm each other.

Stay connected during stress. Talking about your stress and having a supportive partner to help you through it makes you and your relationship stronger.