The 6 Human Needs

We all have basic needs. Not mere wants, but deep needs we try to meet every day. These needs sit underneath and inspire every decision we make. They are universal inside every person. As human beings, our strongest drive is the desire for fulfillment. We all share the need to experience a life of meaning and purpose.

Unfortunately, many people meet their human needs through unhealthy and unsustainable habits. Those habits lead to frustration, anxiety, stress, and even depression. The key to deep, rapid change lies in our ability to recognize and manage these needs, because they are the motivation and driving force behind all our behaviors. The 6 Human Needs give a practical key for uncovering someone’s needs, behaviors, values, and beliefs, plus the vehicles they use to meet those needs. These needs help reveal what keeps a person from feeling happy and satisfied.

We are not talking about Maslow’s pyramid that many people already know. That pyramid covers physical, spiritual, survival, and emotional needs. Here we focus on the 6 emotional needs detailed by A. Robbins.

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The 6 Human Needs

CERTAINTY: The need to feel safe, comfortable, stable, protected, and to have predictability in our lives.

VARIETY/UNCERTAINTY: The need to feel different, challenged, at risk of change, excitement, surprise, and entertainment in our lives.

SIGNIFICANCE/IMPORTANCE: The need to feel important, accomplished, respected, special, needed, wanted, and unique in our lives.

CONNECTION/LOVE: The need to feel union, passion, oneness, warmth, desire, and love in our lives.

GROWTH: The need to feel that we are developing, learning, strengthening, expanding, and cultivating ourselves.

CONTRIBUTION: The need to feel that we are giving, donating, leaving our mark, serving, offering, and contributing to others.

The first four needs (Certainty, Significance, Connection/Love, and Variety/Uncertainty) are essential for human survival and must be met daily. The last two needs (Growth and Contribution) are needs of the spirit. Not everyone finds a way to meet them, yet they are required for lasting fulfillment in life.

DETAILS

MEETING OUR NEEDS

We all experience the same 6 human needs, yet we find different ways to meet them. Each of these needs can be met in positive or negative ways. Some ways of meeting these needs are good for the person, good for others, and good for society overall. Other ways are bad for the person, bad for others, and bad for society overall. The key to helping someone change their behavior is knowing which of these needs matters most to them and what they do to meet those needs. Any vehicle can become an addiction when it meets three or more of our human needs.

CERTAINTY

Positive

Going to school and earning a degree can guarantee the chance to make a living that meets your need for certainty. Holding rigidly to a dogma or doctrine can also meet certainty. Being strict or overly protective with your children is another form of certainty.

Negative

The need for certainty can be met by stealing from others and hoarding money or material possessions. Staying in an abusive relationship or a drug habit can also meet it. This need can also be met by doing as little as possible and avoiding challenges.

SIGNIFICANCE/IMPORTANCE

Positive

Our search for meaning in life events is one way to meet our need for significance. Another is becoming the best athlete you can be or the top student in your class. For some, significance comes from providing for their family. Others find significance in doing meaningful work. Some need to make a major contribution to humanity to feel important.

Negative

Some people meet their need to feel important by being the worst at something or by carrying low self-esteem. Others face this need for significance by becoming a bully or, worse, by pointing a weapon at someone. Destroying things or tearing others down can also meet the need for significance.

VARIETY/UNCERTAINTY

Positive

Reading and exploring new topics or areas of interest can meet our need for variety/uncertainty. This need drives us to take risks in life by trying new things, such as new foods or traveling to new places.

Negative

Some meet this need for variety/uncertainty by having extramarital affairs. Those who use drugs to change how they feel or who overeat are also meeting this need. Many people meet their need for variety/uncertainty by creating personal problems or engaging in drama with others.

CONNECTION/LOVE

Positive

Some meet their need for connection by being very social, while others feel just as connected or loved by being at home with their spouse. We can connect with others by being helpful, courteous, and kind. We can meet our need for love and connection simply by being with family members who support us and do not judge us.

Negative

Our need for connection can be met by dominating others. We can also meet this need by creating unmanageable problems in our lives so that we then receive attention from others. This can lead to depression because we benefit from the attention of loved ones.

GROWTH

Positive

To feel truly complete in life, we must grow. Growth can be emotional, physical, and/or intellectual. You can grow by becoming a better person or by learning to accept what is different. You can also grow by exercising, reading books, or taking classes. Some people need to learn and expand their minds constantly to feel they are truly growing.

Negative

It is possible to meet the need for growth through negative means, such as becoming a tyrant. Terrorists try to expand their agendas by committing inhumane acts. Science has created immense growth and progress for our world, even though that same progress also created the atomic bomb.

CONTRIBUTION

Positive

Contributing beyond yourself is essential for a sense of fullness and happiness in life. You can volunteer or make a donation to a charitable organization. A parent contributes when they provide their children with a good education. Many people want to leave their mark on this world through good works or a legacy with their children.

Negative

Unfortunately, people can meet their need for contribution by destroying others. This sense of contribution tends to carry a distorted intention. One example would be someone who harms a doctor who performs abortions. It can even be an employee who fires another employee simply because they disliked them and now believe things are better without that person.

As with everything human, paradoxes exist in how we experience these needs. A person with a strong need for both certainty and uncertainty might constantly suffer internal conflict about which need is more important to meet.

The need for significance/importance is often the opposite of the need for connection and love. It can be hard to love someone who constantly needs to feel important. That is why many people who value significance over love struggle in their relationships and often say they do not feel truly loved.