Negativity Is Contagious

Even when we prefer not to admit it, research from Indiana University shows that other people’s opinions shape us and influence how we act. Psychologists found that negative opinions hit harder than positive ones.

In an experiment, groups shared both positive and negative views about a product. Opinion shifts almost always moved from positive to negative. When people who already held negative views talked only among themselves, their views grew even more negative. The takeaway is clear: negativity breeds more negativity.

This pattern shows up far beyond product reviews. Research has found that depression in one spouse often leads to depression in the other. The same dynamic can appear between roommates. Children raised by depressed parents are significantly more likely to receive a depression diagnosis themselves. In fact, one family member’s depression can pull an entire household down. Anxiety and fear can spread in similar ways.

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Negativity is potent, so defending yourself against it is essential. There are several exercises you can use to fight it, yet they are not always enough, especially when the problem comes from someone very close. In those cases you need deliberate steps to break the cycle and stop the contagion.

1. Step away from the negativity

It is easier when the source is a friend or a job than when it is family or a partner, yet distancing yourself from the source of negativity is essential. If you cannot leave the situation entirely, take regular “happy breaks.” Do something that lifts you, or spend time with positive people who make you feel good instead of drained.

2. Become a source of positivity

Try to reverse the negative emotional spiral created by the person or group. Smile often. Stay upbeat and constructive even when others complain, feel sad, or get angry. Over time your consistency can spark a reverse infection of positivity and help break the negative pattern.

3. Talk with the negative person (or people)

Speak with the person or people who leave you feeling bad, stressed, or angry. Sometimes simply naming what they are doing and how it affects you is enough to motivate change. When you do this, avoid blame. Blame only makes them feel worse and more negative.

4. Take care of yourself

Just as with a common cold, if you are tired, run down, or hungry, you become more vulnerable to catching someone else’s negative emotions. Sleep enough. Eat well, move your body, and get a little sunlight. Exercise and daylight help release endorphins, your body’s natural mood elevators. Also learn how to strengthen your immunity to adversity and pessimism.

In the end you cannot control how someone else feels or reacts. You only control how you respond to their emotions. We may be wired to mirror the feelings and behaviors of others, yet once you notice that tendency you can train yourself to release the negative emotions and fears that often surface around negative, unhappy people.