Superar el Miedo Damien Soitout

How to overcome failure

OVERCOME YOUR FEAR

If you are someone who seeks success and who takes big risks, one of your main fears is failure. Because failure leads you to lose self-esteem, confidence, security, and especially: it hurts.

To overcome it, it is important to understand where the fear comes from. It is a natural, human emotion. There are several variables, after having worked with many entrepreneurs, I realized that there is a list of very common reasons that bring fear even to the greatest:

  • Opinions of others
  • The amount of work it takes to accomplish the project
  • Lack of preparation
  • Lack of vision

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So how can we overcome a natural emotion? With those few variables in mind, the following tips can help you overcome this. The fear comes from your limiting beliefs. That is why something as trivial as the gaze of others can shock you.

If you keep doing the same thing you have always done, you will continue to achieve the same things that you have always achieved.

  • Opinions of others: Stop thinking about what others think of you. Focus on your project, on your path, on yourself. It is important that you understand one thing: everyone who has been successful has had the same fears. The reason they managed to achieve it is because they focused on what is really important, and left the superficial behind. What others say doesn’t matter until you’re done.
    I once asked a dear youtuber friend how he felt after reading the comments below his videos? He had realized that he had a lot of haters, but also a lot of positive comments. He answered me something very good:
    “You will never be able to satisfy everyone, the Internet brings out the worst in people. I don’t read the comments in my videos, because when I did I was afraid to continue doing more. Despite having millions of views in each one, and more than 10 million followers, I still have doubts. But I focus on the numbers: views, followers, clicks, and revenue. They don’t lie. If they keep going up, I’m doing something right. ”
    It is important to focus on your goal rather than what others think. You will know what they think through your results.
  • The amount of work: Many people calculate how much they will have to do, and the amount of money, time, sacrifices that it represents, and what they can lose by failing. That is also limiting thinking. It doesn’t matter how many hours, sweat and blood you have to put into your project, if you really believe in it, you don’t do it just to have money. Someone with a passion will not take that into account and if they fail, they will get something even better than money: experience.
    In my case, when I started GYOTranslation in 2009, I didn’t know how much work it was going to be, or how much money I was going to have to put into the project. It was a studio project at the beginning. I didn’t care that much. But when I started to generate money, I got more motivated, taking more and more time for the project, getting accounts of multi-national companies until overnight a competitor company, a huge group from Europe contacted me. They gave me two options: either they would buy me at a ridiculously low price, or they would take it upon themselves to kill my project. At the time I panicked and agreed to sell the company. For me it was better than watching my “baby” die without purpose.
    Financially, I earned just to pay off my college debt and credit cards. I was back to zero. But in experience, I have achieved so much that instead of being sad, depressed and not feeling like it, I got up and started FITS Connect two months later, and I financed it by getting a job as a university professor to have enough money to cover my expenses, and those of the company.

It is very important to see the “Big picture”, not to stay with what is in front of our nose but with everything that is around.

Failure is synonymous with lesson. And every lesson is an opportunity to do something better.

  • Lack of preparation: It is very simple. If you don’t feel ready, don’t do it yet. Take time to see your entire project in front of your eyes, to visualize it all the way. You have to be very familiar with your vision and your goal. If you are missing important data, do not jump in yet. Wait until you feel ready. You will not feel 100, because it is impossible to predict the future, but I can guarantee that you will feel it when you are ready to start.
  • Lack of vision: It is very connected with the lack of preparation, but even more with your real goal. If you are someone who wants to be an entrepreneur just to make money, forget it. No entrepreneur with that mindset will be successful, or at least not successful in the long run. Your vision must be bigger than you, bigger than money. You will not have any satisfaction in sacrificing so much if you only do it for the money. It is important to define the reasons why you do what you do. It will help you grow as a company, and as a person. If you do not get more than money for everything you do, your project will die, and it is a strong generator of fear for anyone.

OVERCOMING FAILURE

After failing, and that happens to all entrepreneurs, it is important to follow a process to get up again and not lose your hunger, your desire.

  1. Take time to heal emotionally: Failure breaks your heart. It is important to take time for yourself, ease your pain, reflect on mistakes, accept them, and move on.
  2. Remember that there is no success without failure: Think of the creator of KFC, Disney, Apple and all those entrepreneurs who achieved unusual successes. None have done it without pain, failure, tears, and sweat.
  3. Learn from your mistakes: Reflect on what you did well, but especially on what you did wrong. If you don’t learn anything from failure, you shouldn’t keep looking to be an entrepreneur. Judging yourself sounds difficult, but it is vital for you to get ahead.
  4. Change your mindset: Once the acceptance period has passed, it is important that you change your mindset. Practice, strive to be positive. Positivism is important to be successful. If you are positive, positive things will come your way.
  5. Think about your next challenge: It is important to look into the future, not stay in the past. If you stop growing, you die. So directing your vision in the right direction will help you put failure in the past, and move on with your next project. It is important to never give up.
  6. Talk to your mentor(s): A coach, mentor, partner, or anyone you trust can help you free your mind and heart in the event of failure. They will help you take the weight off your shoulders, and look ahead.
  7. Visualize your success: You don’t have it yet, but visualizing it is important. It motivates you, and it reminds you of the reasons why you are on that path. Never forget where you want to go.
  8. Surround yourself with positive people: A saying goes “Surround yourself with positive people, they have a solution for every problem. Negative people have a problem for every solution.”

Read also: How to improve my immunity to adversity?

CONCLUSION

Failure is hard and painful; however, it goes hand in hand with success. The way you handle your failure will determine whether you are successful, and the suggestions above will help you deal with it when the time comes. Remember to learn from each of your failures, rather than focusing on any mistakes you have made.

If you have a friend, family member, or colleague who needs motivation, be sure to share this post with them. Also invite them to hire a mentor from our program here.

The impact of stress on your health and well-being

HOW IMPACTING CAN STRESS BE IN YOUR LIFE?

Stress manifests itself in many ways. In many instances, stomachaches, indigestion, insomnia, and other common symptoms can send you to see a doctor. Your doctor will give you a regular diagnosis: something you ate, a bacteria… etc he will give you a couple of medications to buy and that’s it. The reality is that for many reasons, and of very diverse manifestations, a very difficult problem to diagnose can be caused by stress.

Today, that disease (or condition) is all too common. From children to adults, we live in a stressful world. Everything must be fast, everything costs a lot of money, lives feel more complicated from generation to generation, especially since the technology boom of the 90s. It seems benign, simple, but many studies have shown the impact of stress on your health as well as your well-being. It can impact something simple like sleep, hunger, but it can also be much more serious and manifest itself in the form of dangerous, sometimes fatal diseases.

The advantage of living in these years of scientific and philosophical development is that we have more information, more remedies, and a deeper understanding of how to treat stress, how it impacts us, and especially how to avoid it.

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HOW STRESS IMPACTS HEALTH

  • Hypertension
  • Headache
  • Abnormal hunger/Weight gain
  • Premature aging
  • Memory loss
  • Hair loss
  • insomnia
  • Higher blood pressure
  • Slower and restricted digestion
  • Reduced sex drive
  • Common cold/flu

HOW TO AVOID/REDUCE YOUR STRESS

  • Avoid consuming caffeine
  • Exercise, run, move your body
  • Regulate your schedules to have a regular sleep
  • Find relaxation techniques and implement those that work in your daily routine
  • Talk to someone. Taking a load off your shoulders by talking to a third party can provide relief and reduce your stress level. Keeping your emotions and frustrations inside is very bad for your mental health
  • Write. If you can’t talk to someone, it can be very therapeutic to write your problems, thoughts, emotions in a journal.
  • Take control of your life, get organized and start implementing a routine if you don’t have one. Feeling in control helps you lower your stress level
  • Learn to say “NO”. Today it is important not to be a “Yes Man/Woman”, someone who says “yes” to any request from a boss, friend or family member. If you keep adding more commitments to your life, it becomes more and more difficult to manage your time, maintain your routine, and stay stress-free.
  • Stop from time to time. Especially if you feel sick, may it be a flu or something heavier. You have to take care of yourself when your body sends you a signal that it is no longer up to your rhythm. Listen to what he tells you and you will recover faster, and you will learn to stay in better condition

Do I need a coach or psychologist?

DEFINITION OF COACH Vs PSYCHOLOGIST

Psychologist: is a therapist who involves you in a process called therapy. Therapy is a long process designed to resolve past trauma, mental illness, correct behaviors, relationships etc… It focuses on the past. And it focuses on the patient’s pain. The goal is to try to correct the past in the hope of having a more stable future.

Coach: A coach is a person who has the experience and education to understand people in the present moment. He identifies the limiting thoughts of the client, involving him in a short to medium term process. A coach is not a medical professional. He is dedicated to correcting habits, thoughts, behaviors that limit the client in his personal and/or professional performance. A coach allows his client to begin to change his present life, without focusing on the past, taking daily actions that activate the development of the person constantly until reaching the desired objective(s).

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COMPARISON OF A COACH VERSUS A PSYCHOLOGIST

A coach offers you guidance:

  • Clarifying and achieving personal and professional goals.
  • Helping to develop technical plans (Map type).
  • Training the client to improve their presence, communication style etc…
  • Sharing strategies that allow you to achieve financial freedom.
  • Establish a balance between your professional life and your personal life.
  • Create a business from scratch or improve the one that already exists.
  • Implement actions in daily life to improve your personal performance
  • Motivate, create self-esteem and self-confidence
A psychologist focuses his conversation on:

  • Correct past trauma.
  • Understands and corrects the patterns that have made your past relationships not work.
  • Try to cure depression/anxiety and other mental illnesses
  • Get ahead after difficult personal moments like a divorce, a death …
  • Work with the subconscious to fix personal problems

A coach may find himself in a situation where he has to help a client with a problem that requires the support of a psychologist. But it is important to know how to distinguish the difference and the border between these two services. It is the coach’s job to also find and recommend a therapist if necessary. Not sure if you need a coach or a therapist?
To put it simply, the coach will help you with your present life, through exercises, habits, strategies and tips that can change your life today, implementing repetition exercises so that these new patterns become part of your life and that this change stays with you in the future.

If you want to know more about our mentoring program and membership, click here.

Money DOES buy happiness

THE QUESTION IS: HOW?

Does money serve you? Does money make you happy? How do you use your money? Does money really buy happiness? All those questions are important. And if you don’t know how to answer, that’s fine. I have the answer for you. Why science studied the question, and was able to determine that YES, money buys happiness. If you use it correctly.

REACH YOUR GOAL

Each person has a standard of living they want and require. With which they feel calm, happy. You don’t have to be a multi millionaire for money to make you happy. According to studies by Purdue University and the University of Virginia, most people find emotional peace in North America with a range of $60,000 to $75,000 a year, and $95,000 for satiety. Above this level, it is nothing more than luxuries without which life can still be very pleasant.

Basically the result of these studies is obvious: Reaching those income levels allows peace of mind and security. Relieves stress related to bill payments, rents, basic needs such as food, water, electricity, gas etc … Provides a sense of financial freedom, resulting in being able to enjoy life instead of wondering how I am going to survive until the end of the month. On the other hand, low income is a factor of personal pressure that makes any unplanned event can be the end of life as they know it. It can be a medical emergency, a divorce, a car accident, a house fire. All life risks associated with major expenses are hard weights to bear without financial freedom.

The Journal of Public Health published results of a very interesting study about the correlation between low income and depression. It shows that by achieving financial freedom, people lower their long-term risk of mental illness versus low-income people.

What does that mean then? If you have already reached that average level of $60-95,000 per year and you are not feeling happy, you need to learn how to use your money. It is important to change your mindset (way of thinking) and read about money management. Because at that level you should feel liberated, less stressed, and happier than the average lower or middle class.

If you still do not reach that income level, the first step is to know your financial numbers. It is important to know how and how much one can spend per month. Have a fixed, variable, and savings plan in order to establish financial security adapted to your income level. Having savings for emergencies can lower your stress level considerably, an important step towards inner peace and happiness.

Now, you also need to know how to spend. And there are some examples of expenses that can fill you with happiness.

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EXAMPLES OF HOW TO SPEND YOUR MONEY

1- Spend on your loved ones

It’s been proven by Oxford, Harvard, and a range of different studies over the years: People who spend on family, friends, and charity are happier. And being present at the moment that the person(s) receiving the gift/donation and being able to witness the happiness caused by it increases your level of happiness even more.

Have you given a gift to a relative? Maybe a child? Did you see that smile on his face? How did it make you feel? Whether it is something that changes one’s life, or simply a detail that means a lot to the other person, that makes them feel loved, important, even safe at times, is something that will make you happy. It doesn’t have to be expensive. Just the gesture is sometimes enough to fill you up and fill her with happiness.

Improving the lives of others will improve yours.

2- Spend on experiences

If you read Are you a smart spender? You know that spending on things will not fill you with happiness. But creating memories will. Spending your money on trips, experiences, unforgettable moments will fill you up much more than any phone, car or house. Why?

  1. It create connections. The people who share the experience with you, whether they are people who accompanied you or people you met during said experience, you will feel a special link forming between you and them. And you know that it is human to want to get closer to others.
  2. An experience is prepared. Several studies show that the preparation time, the anticipation of the event, represents almost 50% of the best memories of the experience. In addition, they also show that throughout the anticipation time your level of happiness rises dramatically until the beginning of the experience.
  3. Memories are usually even better than what you actually lived through. People usually retain the best moments of an experience and unconsciously enhance them in their brain, making them even happier and more nostalgic when they are remembered.
  4. The impact lasts much longer than buying a material thing. (see Are you a smart spender?)

3- Buy lost time

Here many are going to think “what is he talking about”? Well, let me explain: Of all that money can buy, time is the most valuable. Professor Elizabeth Dunn, writer of the book “Happy Money: The Science of Happiness Spending” says the following:

“Don’t buy a car a little fancier to have heated seats during those two hours of transit to your office. Buy a spot close to work so that you can use that final hour of daylight to kick a ball in the park with your kids”.

That is an example. But you can’t just buy that time in traffic. How much time do you spend a week cleaning your house? How much time do you spend grocery shopping? There are a multitude of examples of tasks that you could avoid by paying a service or a person to do it for you. All of this is possible. By having a spending plan. The more time you free up in your schedule, the more time you can dedicate to people and activities that will fill you with happiness. It doesn’t mean being lazy, it means knowing how to drive:

  1. Your time
  2. Your money

And this has no cost.

4- Your perception

In short, your happiness depends on how you perceive your life, your money, your time, your goals etc … Happiness is lived according to your mindset. What is the story you tell yourself about your finances? Is it positive, or does it limit you in your dreams and goals? If your story doesn’t make you happy, change your life.

You have to know how to be grateful in life. The more grateful you are, the happier you will be. Also read: Open your mind, fill 6 areas of your life to be happy

Related: What is the meaning of being rich

Correlation between Couple and Success

YOUR SILENT PARTNER

If you own your own business and you are married, one of the most important roles is not yours, or your eventual business partners. A person who almost never enters the ray of light or in the praise of your success is your partner. Your silent partner without whom perhaps nothing would have been possible.

The role of your partner is vital to the well-being of your business. And for yours. But how do you choose the right person? Many people think that being the spouse of an entrepreneur is very glamorous. That it comes with financial advantages out of the ordinary, regardless of the difficulties that come with lifestyle.

Life of an entrepreneur

In order to define how to choose a partner, or if you should consider marrying an entrepreneur, it is important to understand how these types of people live. An entrepreneur is someone who takes considerable risks, both financially, time-wise, with health, and make personal sacrifice to achieve a challenge that many consider unattainable, or simply stupid. Entrepreneurs are people who understand the importance of human capital, the value that each one can bring to the table. They also understand when someone waste their time. They are loyal to people, have a lot of empathy, and can be very direct with their way of speaking and expressing feelings and opinions. It is important to be cold-blooded because despite loving you, there will be moments in which they could demonstrate their natural strength without seeking to offend you.

In my case, I would be lying if I said that I was never very cold or rude to my wife. It is not something I do wanting to offend, it is something natural that comes with the mentality of someone who knows where he wants to go, and who will not let anyone discourage him.

Living with an entrepreneur has its financial risks as well. In order to stabilize myself with a successful idea, I have had several companies that rose and fell without being able to control or correct the trajectory. That resulted in having to look for work so as not to lose everything. Get up again. And try again. Despite having a daughter, and then two.

The difference between a normal person and an entrepreneur is that the former falls and conforms. The entrepreneur falls and rises to success.

The life of an entrepreneur is a roller coaster. There are very high moments, very strong falls, very low moments. If you understand that, that you can bear it, support it, and be a life and business partner rather than a person who expects to receive more than what (s)he gives, then maybe you can be a part of his world.

If you want to be successful and have a full life, give ten times what you expect to receive. Success is found in the value you add to the world, not in what you take out of it.

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The role of an entrepreneur’s couple

Being the spouse of an entrepreneur is not limited to helping around the house with daily tasks: children, food and cleaning… Your role has a sufficiently important weight on the scale to define the trajectory of success that the project will have. Your support must be psychological, physiological, spiritual, and technical. It does not mean doing everything to please your partner. It means that you have to try to add value to your better half with something constructive. Offer more than you receive.

Many entrepreneurs divorce because many married people do not understand their role in the company and the couple. It is important to lighten the life of your partner, removing the weight of daily tasks that can waste time, lose focus on what you have to be sharply aware of. And it is equally important that you share your opinion and vision about the project without holding anything back.

An entrepreneur places great value on well thought out and constructed opinions. Your role is simple: help him see what he is not seeing. You are part of the business the same way as he is. After all, it is what gives you a roof, food and everything else. Your interest in the business should be very high, as well as your understanding of it.

You are the image of the company and your partner. If you read Forbes, Entrepreneur, Wall Street Journal and other business magazines, you can tell that the CEOs of the largest companies have their partner in almost every major event and launch, whether they are internal to the company or public. Your goal? Represent an image that makes people think they are lucky to have you. Not the other way around. Inspire respect and admiration.

In the case of my wife Natalia and I, she was the inspiration that led me to what I managed to build. She opened my eyes to my passion for business without ever telling me what to do. She inspired me to grow up and give her a better life. And along the way, she was always by my side, supporting me with advice, opinions, discussions, both good and bad, that led me on the path that corresponds to me. She was my guide to success.

Balance to have a happy life

The business being part of your daily lives, it is difficult to make the distinction between your personal life and professional life. It is difficult to be the wife/husband without being the partner. It is important to celebrate the successes of the company together, but it is also important to get away from time to time to live without thinking about work.

I have my wife, two daughters, 5 businesses and chairs at 5 boards of directors of other companies in 4 countries. If I let my professional life consume all my time, we would have no life. Natalia supported me by choosing employees who can assume certain responsibilities while I am not in the office or in the country. We started hiring more people, investing time and money in lengthy recruiting and training process, and building trust. It took a few years, but without it, I couldn’t take Sundays to unwind and enjoy with my family. I couldn’t take a vacation when schools closed, I couldn’t see my family in Europe.

As an entrepreneur’s partner, I recommend choosing someone who understands all of those points. The good ones, and especially the bad ones. In addition, I recommend someone who understands people, who knows how to read beyond appearances, in order to be the trustworthy person that their partner requires to be successful.

As a life and business mentor for senior executives in one of the most important companies in Latin America and the United States, I always say the same thing: It does not matter at what level you are. You always need a mentor for you too. Mine is my wife.

Damien Soitout

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